ikunai
by CHEcK-mAter
Summary: In which TenTen enlightens Lee on the merits of an ikunai.


**ikunai**

* * *

It was a gloriously wonderful day as usual for our favourite Naruto character, Lee. He was on his way to meeting the rest of the team after his light morning work-out with his beloved Gai-sensei.

However, his marvellously fantastic - sorry, _gloriously wonderful_ - day took a sharp turn towards queerly strange when he arrive at Training Ground CBG 5.97, his tean's usual meet up point, to see his glaringly youthful teammate, TenTen, drooling over a colourful magazine.

Worried about his teammate's wellbeing, Lee immediately ran over to TenTen (unknowingly kicking up a storm of dust) and snatched the magazine out of her hands.

"My dear beautifully nubile teammate, TenTen! What on Earth are you thinking of, consuming a magazine!" Lee shouted, waving his arms about like a madman.

...

Let me rephrase: Lee shouted, waving his arms about like _himself_.

TenTen was unable to reply as she was busy doing an imitation of a last-stage tuberculosis patient - aka, coughing like mad. She knew that all those dust particles that she inhaled courtesy of her wacky sensei and teammate could not be good for her poor lungs.

"What are you talking about!" TenTen all but screamed in her rage, "What about me eating a magazine!"

There was a slight pause before she croaked out her next sentence.

"And did you just use the word 'nubile' to describe me," she asked, feeling rather creeped out.

"Yes? I pronounced it correctly, didn't I?" Lee asked tentatively before taking on a borderline boastful tone, "I hit up for synonyms for 'youthful' and 'nubile' is one of the many suggested words. I even wrote all of them down!"

With that, Lee dug out a sparkling green notebook (with an orange spine) out from his legwarmers and practically shoved it into poor TenTen's shocked face.

TenTen backed up 10 feet, horrified at how deliriously bad the thing smelled. To her credit, TenTen did manage to snatch her magazine back from Lee, mostly out of fear that he might accidentally stuff it back into his dubious-looking legwarmers together with his awful notebook.

"Ahem! Well, you can keep your book now. You can show it to Gai-sensei later..." TenTen had to bite down on his hip to stop herself from completing the sentence which whould have gone something like this:

"You can show it to Gai-sensei later, after practice, at your own discretion, with no one within the 15 feet radius (for she could still smell _it _from 10 feet away) and prefably outside of Konoha."

It wasn't a very mean thing to say, per se, but Lee had a very... _sensitive_... soul and always cried over the tiniest thing. TenTen most certainly did not wish to deal with the waterworks so early in the morning.

Not wanting to dwell on the topic of stinky notebooks, TenTen quickly switched the topic back to the magazine in her hands.

"Er, anyway, I was reading _NinjaTime _and guess what is featured in the _Technology _section!" Not actually waiting for a reply, TenTen continued on, "It's the latest state-of-the-art invention from _Avocado_, _IKUNAI_!"

Shove a couple fo pompoms into her hands and TenTen would totally look like a picture-perfect cheerleader right then.

"What is an... _ikunai_?" Lee asked tentatively, knowing that TenTen could very well launch into a 3-hour lecture. It happened once, and let's just say that Lee had better things to do with his time.

Expectedly, TenTen's eyes developed a strange, almost maniacal, gleam as she begun her explanation.

"_ikunai _is the best weapon EVER!" She cheered," It can function as a normal kunai, a bomb, a walkie-talkie, a tracking device, a hot-air balloon and even a _grandmother_!"

Somehow, Lee seriously doubted the last part...

"Anyway, do you know that you can store an arsenal of dangerous poisons in the handle and with just one touch, you can choose to coat the knife of your kunai with your poison of choice!"

TenTen's voice was steadily getting louder and louder...

"It is stated there in the magazine that you can also buy the _Boomerang _application from the _Avocado _store, meaning that your _ikunai _will fly back to you automatically after you threw it!"

TenTen could be safely classified as 'shouting' by then.

"On top of that, you can conduct a_ video chat_ using _ikunai_! The image will be projected from the tip of the kunai, kind of like the Akatsuki and their rings! How cool is that?"

Now, she was downright screaming.

"And the best part is that _ikunai _is entirely_ touch handle_..." TenTen's voice tapered to a conspirational whisper towards the end, as though sharing a top-secret with Lee.

As for our poor Lee, he could only nod fervently while taking down notes on the _ikunai _in his smelly green notebook with shaky hands.


End file.
